Lasting Longer In The Bedroom: Tips For Men

Lasting longer in the bedroom is a common concern for many people, especially those who experience premature ejaculation. While there is no one-size-fits-all solution, there are several strategies that can help. Here are some tips to improve your sexual endurance:

- Pelvic floor exercises, such as Kegels, can help strengthen the muscles that control ejaculation.

- Behavioural techniques like the squeeze technique and the stop-start method can help delay ejaculation.

- Foreplay and sexual techniques such as slowing down, changing positions, and spending more time on non-penetrative activities can prolong the duration of sex.

- Lifestyle changes, including a healthy diet, regular exercise, and managing stress, can improve sexual function and endurance.

- Medical treatments such as prescription tablets, creams, and pelvic floor therapy are also available for more severe cases.

Remember, it's important to communicate with your partner and seek professional help if needed.

Pelvic floor exercises

Heel Slide Kegel Exercises

• Lie down flat on the floor with your knees bent.
• Inhale through your diaphragm, then exhale using your mouth, decompressing your ribs as you do so.
• Raise your pelvic area, lock it in place, and slide one of your bent knees away until it’s horizontal to the ground.
• Inhale, then bring your knee back to its original position.
• Perform 10 repetitions on one leg, then repeat on the other leg.

Toe Tap Pelvic Floor Exercises

• Lie down flat on the floor with your knees bent.
• Inhale through your diaphragm, then exhale, decompressing your ribs.
• Raise your pelvic floor while maintaining the stability of your abdominal core.
• Inhale, then raise one leg to a tabletop position.
• Lower the leg slowly and steadily.
• Repeat the movement with one leg 12 times, then the other leg. Ensure your core is engaged throughout the exercise.

Quick Flick Kegel

• Lie on the floor with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor.
• Exhale, pull your navel towards your spine, and quickly contract and release your pelvic floor muscles.
• Aim for a 1-second contraction before releasing.
• Repeat 10 times, rest for 10 seconds, then do 2-3 sets.

Heel Slides

• Lie on the floor with your knees bent and pelvis in a neutral position.
• Inhale into your rib cage, then exhale through your mouth, letting your ribs naturally compress.
• Draw your pelvic floor up, lock in your core, and slide your right heel away from you without losing your connection to your deep core.
• Find the bottom position, then inhale and bring your leg back to the starting position.
• Do 10 slides with each leg.

Marches (Toe Taps)

• Lie on the floor with your knees bent and pelvis in a neutral position.
• Inhale into your rib cage, then exhale through your mouth, letting your ribs naturally compress.
• Draw your pelvic floor up and lock in your core.
• Slowly lift one leg to a tabletop position.
• Slowly lower this leg to the starting position.
• Repeat, alternating legs. Ensure your deep core stays engaged throughout.
• Alternate legs for 12-20 times total.

The Bridge Pose

• Lie on your back with your knees bent and feet hip-width apart.
• Place your arms at your sides, palms facing down.
• Inhale and lift your hips towards the ceiling, engaging your pelvic floor muscles.
• Hold the pose for 10-15 seconds while maintaining steady breath.
• Slowly lower your hips back to the floor and repeat for 10-15 repetitions.

Squats

• Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart.
• Lower your body as if sitting back into a chair, keeping your chest and back straight.
• Engage your pelvic floor muscles as you lower and rise.
• Aim for three sets of 10-15 squats, gradually increasing the intensity as your strength improves.

Pelvic Tilts

• Lie on your back with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor.
• Tighten your abdominal muscles and press your lower back into the floor.
• Hold for a few seconds, then release.
• Repeat this movement 10-15 times, gradually increasing as your muscles become stronger.

Bird-Dog Exercise

• Start on your hands and knees, aligning your wrists under your shoulders and your knees under your hips. Keep your back straight.
• Engage your core muscles and retract your shoulder blades down toward your hips.
• Simultaneously extend and raise your left leg and right arm, maintaining a neutral body position. Hold this position for a few seconds.
• Gently lower your arm and leg to the starting position. Repeat the movement with the opposite arm and leg.

Remember, consistency is key when it comes to pelvic floor exercises. Aim to perform these exercises 2-3 times a week for optimal results. Additionally, make sure to consult a healthcare professional before starting any new exercise regimen, especially if you have pre-existing health conditions.

Foreplay

• Don't rush to intercourse: Only about 18% of people with a vagina are able to orgasm just from penetrative sex. About 36% of people with a vagina need clitoral stimulation to climax. So, take your time and experiment with kinks, massage, and sex toys before getting to intercourse.
• Take it slow: Try new sex positions and use the stop-start method to delay your orgasm. When you feel an orgasm coming on, stop what you're doing and focus on giving your partner sexual pleasure.
• Mid-intercourse oral sex: Try some mid-intercourse oral sex to stimulate the clitoris while you take a necessary breather. Once you feel the urge to orgasm subside, go back to intercourse.
• Edging: Edging is when you masturbate or have sex until you feel like you're about to orgasm, and then stop. This helps your body and brain learn to control orgasms better.
• Masturbate before sex: If you haven't ejaculated in a while, the excitement of sex might make it difficult to control the urge to orgasm. Masturbating before sex can help decrease the mental and physical stimulation that causes orgasms.
• Foreplay ordering: The typical order of foreplay is kissing/touching, cunnilingus, fellatio, and then intercourse. However, this means you're going straight from intense oral stimulation to intercourse. Instead, try getting your partner off manually first, then receiving fellatio, and then performing cunnilingus before intercourse.
• Use low stimulation sex positions: Some sex positions are high stimulation and will get you off faster. These include positions with more friction, such as with your partner's legs more closed, and positions where you are doing the thrusting while lying down (e.g. missionary). To last longer, switch to low stimulation positions, such as with your partner's legs spread, or with them on top moving back and forth instead of up and down.

Squeeze technique

The squeeze technique is a good method to perform when you're about to orgasm. It involves applying pressure with your thumb and forefinger to the middle of the underside of your penis, where the urethra is located. This is just before you feel the head of the penis.

The squeeze technique pushes blood out of the penis tissue, reducing sexual tension and suppressing the need to ejaculate. With the right timing, you can last longer by de-stimulating your body's desire to climax, allowing for longer-lasting sexual activity.

Here's how to perform the squeeze technique:

• Begin stimulating yourself, keeping a pressure and pace that are comfortable and will get you to climax.
• When you feel you're almost at the point of ejaculation, release the pressure and slow your pace.
• Grip the end of your penis, where the head (glans) meets the shaft. Maintain a firm but not tight squeeze for several seconds, or until the feeling of an impending climax passes.
• When you're ready, begin stimulating yourself again with a pace and pressure that will help you reach climax.
• Repeat the process as desired.

If you're having intercourse, the process is similar:

• Begin sexual activity with normal penis stimulation.
• When you get to the point that you believe you're ready to climax, stop all thrusting or rubbing.
• You or your partner can squeeze the end of the penis, where the head meets the shaft. Maintain a firm pressure until the sensation passes.
• Begin sexual activity again, and repeat the technique as desired.

You can do this technique once or several times during sexual activity to help delay ejaculation. If you plan to do this during partner sex, let them know what you're doing. You may also want to figure out additional ways to stimulate them so that they remain aroused.

Masturbation

Therapeutic Massage

Stimulating the root of the penis until you are ready to ejaculate and then stopping can help delay ejaculation during penetrative sex. This technique is known as penis-root masturbation, and it involves placing both thumbs near the base of the penis and rubbing them in a circular motion or up and down.

Edging

Edging is the non-medical version of biofeedback. It involves masturbating to the point of almost ejaculating and then stopping all stimulation. This technique helps you become more comfortable and knowledgeable about your sexual arousal so that you can prevent unintended ejaculation.

Practice Behavioural Techniques

Build Stamina

Masturbating regularly can help build up your stamina and enable you to last longer during sex.

Pelvic Floor Exercises

Pelvic floor exercises, also known as Kegel exercises, can help to strengthen the muscles that support the bladder and enable ejaculation. These exercises can be done anywhere and can help improve your sexual stamina.

Foreplay

Mental Distraction

Focusing your attention on something non-erotic during masturbation can help you reduce the enjoyment of the act and delay ejaculation.

Slow Down

Slowing down during masturbation can help you last longer. Generally, the faster the man masturbates, the quicker he ejaculates.

Communication

Desensitizing products

There are various types of desensitizing products available, including creams, gels, wipes, sprays, and condoms. Many of these products contain local anaesthetics, such as benzocaine, lidocaine, or prilocaine, which work by numbing the nerve endings in the penis. It is important to note that these products can also affect your partner, so it is recommended to wipe or clean the penis before stimulation to avoid transferring the desensitizing agent.

Creams and Gels:

Creams and gels are applied directly to the penis, typically to the head and shaft. It is recommended to apply these products 20-30 minutes before sexual activity and to wash them off after 5-10 minutes to avoid numbing your partner. Examples include the K-Y Duration Desensitizing Gel and the Tracey Cox EDGE Delay Cream.

Wipes:

Wipes are a convenient option, as they are easy to use and often come in single-use packets. They are gently wiped along the penis to reduce sensitivity. Wipes may contain ingredients like laureth-9 or benzocaine. A study found that 88% of participants using benzocaine wipes recovered from premature ejaculation after two months.

Sprays:

Sprays are another popular option, as they are easy to use and allow for customizable desensitization. You can apply one to two sprays to the tip of the penis, or more depending on your sensitivity and desired effect. It is important to let the spray dry before stimulation to avoid transferring it to your partner. Examples include the Tauro Extra Strong Delay Spray and Promescent Delay Spray.

Condoms:

Some condoms are designed with extra material or desensitizing ingredients to help reduce sensitivity. They can be used in combination with other desensitizing products and are an effective way to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancy. Examples include Durex Extra Safe Latex Condoms and Pasante Delay Latex Condoms.

While desensitizing products can be an effective solution, it is important to use them as directed and be mindful of potential side effects. Always read the instructions and warnings on the product label. Additionally, consult a doctor or healthcare professional before using desensitizing products, especially if you have any allergies or are taking medications.

Frequently asked questions