While it's often expected that men take the lead in the bedroom, many men are happy for their female partners to be in control. However, if you're a man who wants to take the lead, there are several ways to do so. You can take the initiative by making the first move, whether that's kissing, cuddling, or initiating sex. Spending time on foreplay and whispering sweet nothings or dirty talk in her ear can also help you take the lead. Experimenting with different positions and techniques can keep things interesting and allow you to stay in control. Remember that communication is key—ask your partner what they like and be open about your own desires. By combining these strategies, you can effectively take the lead in the bedroom and enhance your sexual experiences.
What You'll Learn
Take the initiative
Taking the initiative is a surefire way to take the lead in the bedroom. Women love men who take the initiative. It's a way to show that you're interested in your partner and that you're willing to go the extra mile to ensure they feel pleasure. Initiating sex is a clear way to take control. For example, you could start off with kisses on the couch and then carry her to the bedroom.
Another way to take the initiative is to ask your partner what they like. This can be done during pillow talk rather than during sex. For example, you could ask, "Did you like what I did to you?". You can also ask your partner about their fantasies and desires, and share your own.
If you're feeling nervous about taking the lead, you could try initiating with a back rub or another form of innocent touching. This is a good way to let your partner know you're interested and stay in control of the situation. It can also help ensure that you get some foreplay beforehand.
Creating a mood is another way to take the initiative in an understated way. You could light some candles, put on some music, or pour a couple of cocktails. If you're the one creating a romantic setting, it'll be easier for you to take the lead and remain in control.
Finally, you can take the initiative by surprising your partner. For example, you could join them in the shower for a quickie before they head off to work, or wake them up in the middle of the night with a sexy surprise.
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Spend time on foreplay
Spending time on foreplay is a surefire way to heat things up in the bedroom. Foreplay is a vital part of intercourse, and it can take many forms, from sexting to kissing to cuddling. Here are some ways to take the lead and spice things up:
Set the Mood
Creating the right atmosphere can go a long way in enhancing the experience for both of you. Take the time to tidy up the bedroom, dim the lights, light some candles, or play some music. These simple touches can make a big difference and show that you've put thought into the experience.
Take Your Time Undressing
Instead of rushing, make the act of undressing a part of the foreplay itself. Slowly peel away each layer of clothing, taking the time to stroke and caress your partner's body as you do so. This builds anticipation and allows you to focus on exploring and appreciating their body.
Explore Beyond the Obvious
While areas like the breasts, butt, and inner thighs may be the first places you think of touching, don't forget about the rest of their body. Mix up your sexual touches with hard massages, long nail strokes, and surprise pinches all over their body. This will electrify their nerve endings and build anticipation.
Kiss with Passion
Kissing is an intimate act that can increase feelings of sexual pleasure and sensitivity. Don't be afraid to use your lips, tongue, and breath to tease and tantalize your partner. Let your kisses stray beyond their mouth to their neck, ears, and cheeks. Just remember to keep it sensual and avoid too much slobber!
Tease and Please
A little teasing can go a long way in building anticipation and intensifying pleasure. Try the start-stop trick by bringing your partner close to climax and then easing off. This will build sexual tension and make the experience even more explosive when you finally let them release.
Remember, communication is key. Don't be afraid to ask your partner what they like and be open to trying new things. Every person is different, so find out what works best for your partner and be willing to step out of your comfort zone.
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Whisper in her ear
Whispering naughty nothings into your partner's ear is a great way to build anticipation and excitement. It can be a powerful way to take the lead in the bedroom and guide the experience. Here are some ways to do it:
Set the Scene
Before you even get to the bedroom, set the mood by whispering something suggestive into her ear. It could be as simple as "I can't wait to be alone with you later" or "I've been thinking about you all day." This will spark her curiosity and get her thinking about what's to come.
Be Descriptive
When you're in the moment, be descriptive about what you're doing, what you want to do to her, and what you want her to do to you. For example, "I love it when you touch me like that," or "I want to kiss every inch of your body." This will not only turn her on but also give her a clear indication of what you enjoy, encouraging her to do more of it.
Ask for What You Want
Don't be afraid to explicitly ask for what you want. For example, "I want you to kiss me here" or "I'd love it if you tied my hands up." This direct approach leaves no room for confusion and ensures that your desires are met. It also shows that you're comfortable expressing your needs, which can be a turn-on for your partner.
Compliment Her
Whisper compliments that will boost her confidence and make her feel sexy. Tell her how beautiful she is, how much you love her body, or how much she turns you on. This will not only make her feel appreciated but also encourage her to keep taking the lead and trying new things.
Talk Dirty
Dirty talk doesn't have to be explicit to be effective. It can be as simple as describing what's happening in a way that emphasizes how good it feels. For example, "I love the way you move on top of me" or "The way you touch me there drives me wild." This type of dirty talk can be a powerful way to enhance the experience for both of you.
Create Anticipation
Keep her guessing by whispering what you're going to do to her next. For example, "I'm going to kiss you from head to toe" or "I'm going to take my time exploring every inch of your body." This builds anticipation and excitement, keeping her on the edge and eager for more.
Remember, every woman is different, so pay attention to her responses to find out what works best for her. With these whispered words, you'll be well on your way to taking the lead and creating a memorable experience for you both.
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Decide on the position
Deciding on the position is a great way for men to take the lead in the bedroom. Here are some tips to keep in mind:
Be adventurous and experimental:
Don't stick to the same position every time you make love. Keep things exciting and unpredictable by choosing different positions that give you better control, better penetration, and maximum pleasure for both you and your partner. Experimenting with different positions will help you stay in charge and add variety to your lovemaking sessions.
Choose positions that give you control:
Select positions that allow you to take the lead and be dominant. For example, the cowgirl position, where your partner sits on top, gives them control while also providing you with a good view and the opportunity for eye contact. This position can be exciting for both of you and make your partner feel dominant.
Surprise your partner:
Keep the chosen position a surprise for your partner. This element of surprise will add excitement and keep them guessing. It also showcases your initiative and willingness to take charge, which can be a turn-on for your partner.
Focus on mutual pleasure:
While taking the lead, don't forget to consider your partner's pleasure. Choose positions that are known to provide more pleasure to women, as this will show that you care about their satisfaction. Additionally, pay attention to their moans and reactions to determine what they enjoy and make them feel special.
Communicate and ask for feedback:
Effective communication is key to a satisfying sexual experience for both partners. Ask your partner about their preferences and what they liked about your previous encounters. This feedback will help you improve and ensure that your partner feels valued. Open communication also allows you to explore new positions and techniques together.
Be receptive to your partner's needs:
While taking the lead, remember that sex is a mutual experience. Be open to your partner's suggestions and allow them to express their desires. This two-way communication will enhance your connection and make the experience more enjoyable for both of you.
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Ask her what she likes
Asking your partner what they like is a vital part of taking the lead in the bedroom. While it may be assumed that men should take the lead and be dominant in the bedroom, it's important to remember that communication and understanding are key to creating a satisfying experience for both partners.
Open Communication
Asking your partner what they like and what their desires are can be a great way to initiate a deeper conversation about sexual preferences and fantasies. It's important to create a safe and non-judgmental space for this discussion, as it may be a vulnerable topic for both of you. Be open to sharing your own likes and dislikes as well, to encourage a mutual understanding and ensure that both your needs are being met.
Pillow Talk
If you're unsure about how to bring up the topic, "pillow talk" can be a great opportunity to ask your partner about their experiences and preferences. After an intimate moment, you can ask questions like "Did you enjoy that?" or "Is there something you'd like to try?" This approach allows you to discuss what worked well and what could be improved upon, all while maintaining a relaxed and intimate atmosphere.
Experimentation
Encourage a sense of adventure and experimentation in the bedroom by asking your partner about their fantasies and desires. This can be done through direct communication or by sharing reading materials, watching films together, or exchanging ideas about positions or acts you'd like to try. By creating a space where both partners feel comfortable expressing their desires, you can enhance your sexual experiences together and take the lead in a way that is exciting and fulfilling for both of you.
Understanding Boundaries
While taking the lead, it's crucial to respect your partner's boundaries and comfort levels. Communicate openly about any acts or behaviours that are off-limits, and be mindful of their responses during intimate moments. Consent and safety should always be prioritized, and by understanding your partner's boundaries, you can better navigate how to please them and create a satisfying experience for both of you.
Reading Non-Verbal Cues
In addition to verbal communication, pay attention to your partner's non-verbal cues. Their body language, moans, and physical responses can provide valuable information about what they enjoy. By being attentive to these cues, you can adjust your actions accordingly and create a more pleasurable experience for your partner.
Remember, taking the lead in the bedroom is about creating a mutually enjoyable experience. By asking your partner what they like and incorporating their desires into your intimate moments, you can enhance your connection and ensure that your sexual experiences are satisfying and fulfilling for both of you.
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Frequently asked questions
Men can take the lead in the bedroom by taking the initiative, spending time on foreplay, and whispering sweet nothings in their partner's ear. They can also decide on the position and ask their partner what they like.
Specific ways to take the lead include getting on top and staying on top, creating a mood, and initiating with a back rub. Men can also undress their partner and experiment with different positions and techniques.
Taking the lead in the bedroom shows interest and a willingness to ensure mutual pleasure. It can also add variety and spice things up, creating a more fulfilling sex life for both partners.