Unleash Your Inner Dominant: Bedroom Aggression Techniques

Being aggressive in the bedroom is not about being abusive or hurtful; it's about taking charge and leading confidently to fulfil your partner's fantasies. It's important to understand your partner's desires and communicate your own – whether that's through dirty talk, commanding your partner, or physically leading them. Being aggressive can also mean dominating your partner, using BDSM tools, or simply initiating sex and voicing your desires. It's crucial to respect boundaries and consent, ensuring that both partners are comfortable and consenting adults. Remember, sexual assertiveness is about taking charge while considering your partner's feelings, and it can enhance pleasure for both of you.

Physically lead your partner

To physically lead your partner, you must take charge and be confident in your actions. This means physically moving your partner's body to the position you want without hesitation. For example, if you want to change positions, you can physically move your partner's body to the new position. This will make your partner feel your strength and is often well-received.

You can also physically lead during foreplay. For instance, you could press your partner against a wall or a door, and then lift and throw them onto the bed. Even smaller actions, like taking your partner's hand and leading them to the bedroom, can be effective.

Dancing classes, such as salsa, can help you learn how to lead a partner. Additionally, improving your sexual confidence can help you become more comfortable with taking charge.

Remember, being aggressive in bed does not mean being abusive or inflicting pain. It is about taking the lead in a confident manner to help your partner live out their sexual desires. Make sure to discuss boundaries and consent, and establish a safe word to ensure your partner's comfort and safety.

Use dirty talk

Using dirty talk in the bedroom can be a great way to build intimacy, confidence, and mutual satisfaction in a relationship. It can also be a powerful tool to enhance the sexual experience and build anticipation. Here are some tips to help you get started:

Start with subtle and suggestive comments

Ease into dirty talk with your partner by starting with subtle and suggestive comments. This can help you test the waters and see how your partner reacts. For example, you could say something like, "I love the way you touch me" or "I like it when you do that with your tongue." These phrases are suggestive without being too explicit, and they focus on what you enjoy and what your partner is doing right.

Gradually introduce more explicit language

As you and your partner become more comfortable with dirty talk, you can start to introduce more explicit language. Remember to always pay attention to your partner's reactions and comfort level. Some people may be turned off by certain words or phrases, so it's important to communicate and respect each other's boundaries.

Focus on what turns you on

Dirty talk is all about expressing your desires and fantasies. Think about what turns you on and don't be afraid to share it with your partner. For example, you could say something like, "I'm so wet/hard right now" or "I want you to fuck me from behind." These phrases are more explicit and directly communicate your desires.

Use descriptive phrases

Get specific with your dirty talk by using descriptive phrases that focus on what you're experiencing in the moment. For example, you could say something like, "I love the way you moan" or "I love the taste of you." Being descriptive can help to enhance the sexual experience for both you and your partner.

Ask questions

Encourage your partner to join in the dirty talk by asking questions. For example, you could ask, "Do you want me to make you come?" or "Where do you want me to come?" Questions can help to keep the conversation going and ensure that both partners are engaged and enjoying themselves.

Practice makes perfect

Dirty talking may feel strange at first, but the more you do it, the easier it will become. Don't be afraid to practice on your own and experiment with different phrases and tones of voice. With time and practice, you'll be able to dirty talk with confidence and authenticity.

Be commanding

Being commanding in the bedroom is about taking charge and leading confidently. It's important to note that being aggressive in bed does not mean being abusive or inflicting pain. Instead, it's about fulfilling your partner's sexual desires.

Be Direct with Your Commands

Be unapologetic in telling your partner what you want them to do and when you want it done. Start with small commands and gradually increase your assertiveness. For example, start by telling your partner you want them to perform oral sex on you, and then add dirty talk to increase the intensity. Giving instructions in this way will not only make the experience hotter for your partner but also ensure that you are getting what you want.

Combine Commands with Physical Leading

Taking charge also involves physically leading your partner. This can be done by moving your partner's body into a new position without hesitation. For instance, if you're making out with your partner, you can press them against a wall or door, and then lift and throw them onto the bed. Even smaller actions, like taking their hand and leading them to the bedroom, can be effective.

Use Verbal Commands

Any type of verbal command can be useful for being aggressive in bed. For example, if you want to change positions, tell your partner what to do instead of simply pushing them. You can also tell them to talk dirty or ask if they like it, instructing them to say it louder.

Initiate Sex and Voice Your Desires

Being commanding involves taking the initiative and expressing your desires. Don't hold back—talk to your partner about what you want to try, whether it's a new position or a different type of stimulation. They may be just as excited as you are to explore something new.

Create a Sexually Charged Atmosphere

Foreplay need not be limited to the bedroom. Throughout the day, you can gently stroke your partner's hand or arm and make suggestive eye contact. Use words and touch to convey what you feel and what you have in mind. This will create a sexually charged atmosphere long before you enter the bedroom.

Use BDSM restraints

Using BDSM restraints is a great way to be more aggressive in the bedroom. It's all about taking charge and leading your partner confidently, and restraints can help create that dynamic. Here are some tips to enhance your experience:

Choose the Right Restraints

BDSM restraints come in various forms, such as handcuffs, blindfolds, ties, scarves, and specialised BDSM kits. You can opt for soft, fuzzy cuffs for added comfort or go for traditional leather cuffs. You can also use bondage tape, which only sticks to itself and is reusable, allowing for creative restraint setups.

Set the Scene

Ensure you have your partner's consent and establish a safe word if needed. You can surprise your partner by blindfolding them and leading them to the bedroom, or you can build anticipation by having them watch as you set up the restraints.

Restrain Your Partner

You can use the restraints to restrict your partner's movement, enhancing their sense of submission. Restrain their wrists and ankles to the bed using specialised bed restraint kits, or try pinning their hands above their head as you kiss them passionately. You can also explore rope play, which offers a wide range of binding options and can be calming and intimate.

Combine with Other BDSM Tools

Introduce other BDSM tools like paddles and whips to further enhance the experience. Combine restraint with sensory deprivation by blindfolding your partner, or use a gag for added effect.

Communicate and Provide Aftercare

Always communicate with your partner throughout the experience. Check in with them to ensure they are comfortable and enjoying the experience. After a particularly intense session, provide aftercare by talking about the experience, assuring your partner of your positive feelings, and reinforcing your respect for them outside the bedroom.

Using BDSM restraints can add a layer of intensity and aggression to your sexual encounters, creating memorable experiences for both partners. Remember to maintain open communication and always obtain enthusiastic consent.

Establish limits and safe words

Establishing limits and using safe words is crucial when engaging in aggressive or rough sex. It ensures that both partners are comfortable and consenting, and helps to prevent the situation from escalating beyond what one or both partners are willing to do. Here are some tips to establish limits and use safe words effectively:

Identify Limits and Boundaries

Before engaging in aggressive or rough sex, it is essential to identify and respect each other's limits. Communicate openly about what you are comfortable with and set clear boundaries. Discuss specific acts, such as BDSM, dirty talk, or spanking, and determine if there are any activities that either of you is unwilling to try.

Choose Safe Words

Safe words are phrases or words that signal a need to slow down or stop the sexual activity. Choose safe words that are distinct from words typically used during passionate sex, such as "yes," "no," or "harder." Opt for unusual words like "peacock," "California," or "vanilla yogurt," which are more likely to stand out and be effective in getting your partner's attention.

Understand the Significance of Safe Words

Using a safe word means both partners must immediately stop the activity, regardless of how far along you are in the sexual act. Respecting and complying with safe words demonstrates the utmost intimacy, trust, and respect between partners. It is essential to establish this before engaging in aggressive or rough sex to ensure the comfort and safety of both individuals.

Establish Non-Verbal Safe Words

If you plan to engage in oral or breath asphyxiation, it is crucial to establish a non-verbal safe word or signal. This could be a physical action, such as a leg squeeze or shaking your head "no" three times, to indicate a need to slow down or stop.

Use a Scale for Impact Play

If you are exploring impact play, consider using a scale, such as a 1 to 10 scale, to qualify the intensity of the impact. For example, after being spanked, one partner might say, "That was a 4, and I'd like to get to an 8." This helps both partners understand each other's preferences and adjust the intensity accordingly.

Remember, consent is an ongoing, enthusiastic agreement between all parties involved in a sexual activity. It can be revoked at any time, and it is essential to respect each other's boundaries and limits. By establishing safe words and clearly communicating your limits, you can ensure that your sexual experiences remain enjoyable and safe for everyone involved.

Frequently asked questions