Dominance In The Bedroom: Unleashing Your Inner Power

Introducing dominance into the bedroom can be an exciting way to spice up your sex life and explore new fantasies. Dominance and submission are about controlling your partner for mutual pleasure and fall under the umbrella of BDSM (bondage, dominance/submission, sadism, and masochism). Before diving into any BDSM activities, it's crucial to establish consent, set boundaries, and choose safe words to ensure the comfort and safety of both partners. Being dominant doesn't equate to being aggressive; instead, it's about mutual trust, respect, and pleasure. Communication is key, so discuss desires and fantasies beforehand, and check in with each other during the experience. Dominance can take many forms, from bossy attitudes and dirty talk to bondage and spanking. Remember, it's all about embracing a different side of yourself and your partner in a safe and consensual environment.

Take control and be bossy

Taking control and being bossy in the bedroom is a great way to spice things up and boost confidence for both partners. Here are some tips for embracing your dominant side:

Be Forceful Yet Gentle

It's important to know what you're doing when taking on a dominant role. Don't be too aggressive or rough; instead, focus on showing that you're in full control. This could involve smacking your partner, but only once trust has been established and they are comfortable with it. Remember, communication is key, so make sure to discuss boundaries beforehand and use a safe word if either of you feels uncomfortable.

Take 100% Control

Imagine when you want something so badly that you take control and do it your way. In the bedroom, this might look like pressing your partner's body against the wall, pushing them down on the bed, or moving their thighs apart to show that you want to have sex with them. Women, in particular, often appreciate it when their male partners take the lead in this way.

Learn to Be Bossy

As the dominant partner, you need to learn how to be bossy and convincing. This includes your body language, tone of voice, and commands. Your partner should feel like they have no choice but to obey you. However, it's important to remember that this dynamic should be consensual and based on mutual trust and respect.

Dress the Part

If you want to get into character as the dominant partner, consider investing in some sexy costumes or sultry latex outfits. Dressing the part can help you feel more confident and immerse yourself in the role. Leather outfits, suits, boots, and heels are all common choices for doms.

Incorporate Restraints

Using restraints like handcuffs, silk ties, or bondage tape can add a sense of vulnerability and surrender for the submissive partner. Just make sure that you always use them responsibly and with consent. Start by teasing your partner with slow kisses and dirty words before restraining them and taking full control.

Remember, being dominant is about mutual pleasure and exploration. Take the time to educate yourself about BDSM practices and safety protocols, and always communicate openly with your partner about your desires and boundaries.

Wear something intimidating

One of the easiest ways to be dominant in the bedroom is to dress the part. If you have the time, invest in some sexy costumes or sultry latex outfits. Your partner will appreciate the effort, and you'll feel a boost of confidence.

D/s (dominance and submission) often incorporates specific outfits or attire that can be used during a scene. As the dominant partner, you could wear leather outfits, suits, and boots or heels. These types of clothing can help you feel more immersed in your dominant role and explore your dominant side.

If you're just starting to experiment with dominance and submission, consider wearing something that makes you feel powerful and in control. It could be a favourite outfit that makes you feel confident or something new that you've always wanted to try.

Remember, the key to introducing dominance in the bedroom is communication. Talk to your partner about your desires and boundaries, and ask them what they are comfortable with. It's also important to understand your partner's body language and pay attention to what they want. With consent and communication, you can explore the exciting world of dominance and submission in a safe and enjoyable way.

Allow your partner to worship your body

Allowing your partner to worship your body is a great way to introduce dominance in the bedroom. Body worship is a form of sexual or sensual activity where one partner shows reverence and adoration for the other's body. It transcends physical attraction and involves a deeper, intense appreciation for your partner, viewing their body as a source of pleasure and a temple of beauty.

Massage and Touch

Provide your partner with massage oil and allow them to massage your body. They can use their hands to slowly and passionately touch and caress your body, exploring every inch of you. This can be a very intimate and sensual experience, allowing your partner to appreciate the beauty and pleasure of your body.

Kissing and Licking

Encourage your partner to shower you with sensual kisses all over your body. Body worship often involves kissing, licking, or sucking parts of the dominant's body, such as the neck, shoulders, breasts, buttocks, or any other area that your partner desires. This can be a powerful way to show reverence and adoration for your body.

Oral Worship

If you are comfortable with it, you can allow your partner to perform oral sex as a form of body worship. This can include cunnilingus or anilingus, also known as "full-body worship." Oral worship is a very intimate and powerful way for your partner to show their devotion and pleasure in your body.

Facesitting

During facesitting, also known as "queening", the dominant partner sits on the submissive partner's face. This position allows the submissive to worship the dominant's body while also providing a sense of control and power for the dominant. It can be a very intense and erotic experience for both partners.

Muscle Worship

If you are into bodybuilding or have well-defined muscles, your partner can engage in muscle worship. They can admire and touch your muscles, finding pleasure and beauty in your physical strength.

Remember, consent and communication are crucial. Ensure that you communicate your boundaries and desires to your partner, and always respect their boundaries as well. Body worship should be a mutually enjoyable and consensual experience that fosters intimacy and connection between both partners.

Establish a safeword

Establishing a safeword is an essential part of introducing dominance in the bedroom. A safeword is a word or phrase that either partner can use to signal that they are uncomfortable and want to stop the action. This is important because it ensures that both parties are consenting and establishes boundaries.

• Discuss the safeword before engaging in any dominant/submissive play. It is important to have this conversation ahead of time so that both partners feel comfortable and know what to expect. You can bring it up casually and frame it in the context of wanting to try something new. For example, you could suggest blindfolding your partner and then propose establishing a safeword to ensure their comfort.
• Choose a word or phrase that is easy to remember and say, even in the heat of the moment. It should be something that stands out and is not likely to be used otherwise during play. For instance, you could use a phrase like "safe word" or "all lives matter" as suggested by sexologist Marla Renee Stewart.
• Consider using a traffic light system with "red" meaning stop, "yellow" meaning slow down, and "green" meaning keep going. This provides more nuance and allows you to adjust the pace or intensity of the action without necessarily bringing it to a complete stop.
• Establish what will happen after the safeword is used. For example, some subs may appreciate an aftercare routine that includes cuddling, talking about the experience, or having a drink or snack.
• If speaking is not possible or comfortable, consider using a safety gesture instead. Some examples include tapping out, using a fist or an open hand, or ringing a bell.
• Remember that the dom should respect the safeword and not take its use personally. It is important to prioritize the sub's needs and well-being after the safeword is used.

By establishing a safeword, you can help ensure that your dominant/submissive play remains consensual, safe, and enjoyable for both partners.

Experiment with sex toys

Experimenting with sex toys can be an exciting way to introduce dominance into the bedroom. Here are some tips to enhance your experience:

Choose the Right Toys

Select toys that will enhance your dominant role and intensify your partner's pleasure. Blindfolds, hoods, collars, gags, floggers, vibrators, and dildos can be great tools for domination and submission play. Consider your partner's comfort and boundaries when making your selections.

Start Slow and Communicate

When introducing sex toys, it's important to start slow and communicate openly with your partner. Discuss your desires and set boundaries together. During play, use verbal encouragement and dirty talk to enhance the experience. Guide your partner's hand to your hot spots, or use the toy on yourself while maintaining eye contact.

Focus on Pleasure

The goal of incorporating sex toys is to enhance mutual pleasure and satisfaction. Ensure that your partner feels sexy and desired throughout the experience. Remind them how much you love their body and how turned on you are. Focus on their pleasure, and don't make the toy the central focus of the experience.

Be Creative with Role-Play

Sex toys can be a great addition to role-play scenarios. Choose roles that establish your dominance, such as boss and employee, teacher and student, or doctor and patient. Incorporate costumes and toys that fit the theme to make the experience more immersive and exciting.

Prioritize Safety

Always prioritize safety when using sex toys. Establish safe words and boundaries before engaging in any BDSM activities. Be prepared with safety supplies, such as bandages, scissors or shears to cut through bondage ties, and keys for any locks you use. Respect your partner's comfort and well-being throughout the experience.

By following these tips, you can create a safe and exciting environment to explore dominance and submission with your partner, enhancing your sexual connection and pleasure.

Frequently asked questions